Is It Hearing Loss — and How Do You Talk to Your Loved One About It?

As we watch the people we care about age, it’s common to attribute changes in behavior to “just getting older.” But sometimes what looks like distraction or stubbornness can actually be a sign of hearing loss. Because hearing doesn’t decline overnight, it’s often the people closest to the person — spouses, children, grandchildren, friends — who notice the subtle changes first.
Recognizing these warning signs and, more importantly, knowing how to talk to your loved one about them can make the difference between years of frustrating communication and a renewed connection through proper care. Hearing loss is directly linked to things like increased fall risk and other health conditions. Most importantly, those with hearing loss are at a much higher risk of developing dementia or Alzheimer’s as opposed to someone with normal hearing. It is critical that those who have hearing loss get tested and treated as quickly as possible.

Common Early Signs of Hearing Loss

Hearing loss usually starts gradually. There isn’t a single, dramatic “event” in most cases — just a series of small changes.  You might notice the following:

• Frequent requests to repeat what you said.
• Turning up the TV or radio louder than others want.
• Asking others to speak more clearly or slowly.
• Difficulty following conversations in groups or noisy places.
• Responding incorrectly to others’ questions or comments.
• Withdrawal or avoidance of social settings.
• Nodding and smiling instead of participating.

These subtle signs aren’t just “normal old age.” They can be real indicators that something is changing — and that hearing deserves attention.

Why It’s So Hard to Talk About Hearing Loss

Bringing up hearing loss with someone you love is emotional territory. Hearing — literally and figuratively — is tied to independence, identity, and dignity. Many people either don’t recognize the change in themselves or deny it because they feel embarrassed or afraid of what it means. Some hearing aids are “only for the very old,” a stereotype that simply isn’t true.

It’s also easy for well-intended family members to accidentally come off as critical rather than caring simply because the conversation is sensitive.

That’s why how you approach the topic matters almost as much as what you say.

How to Talk to Them — Compassionately and Effectively

Here are research-based strategies to start the conversation in a way that builds understanding rather than resistance:

1. Choose the Right Time and Setting
   Pick a quiet, private moment when you’re both calm and not rushed — not in the middle of a frustrating miscommunication. A relaxed setting helps your loved one feel safe, not defensive.
2. Use Gentle, Collaborative Language
   Instead of statements like:
   “You can’t hear me anymore!”
   Try:
   “I’ve noticed that sometimes we need to repeat things more often. I’m wondering if it’s been harder for you to hear in noisy places?”

Use “I” statements, specific examples, and neutral language to keep the conversation collaborative, not accusatory.

3. Be Ready for Mixed Emotions
   Some people react with surprise, denial, embarrassment, or even frustration. That’s normal. Stay calm and empathetic. Let them express how they feel.
4. Share What You’ve Observed, With Examples
   Giving concrete examples (“I noticed at dinner last week you asked three people to repeat themselves”) helps your loved one see patterns without feeling attacked. Avoid exaggeration.
5. Frame Getting Help as a Positive Step
   Explain that modern hearing care isn’t scary and that addressing hearing loss can improve quality of life — from better communication to more enjoyment of favorite activities. Many people delay seeking help for years, even though early intervention leads to better outcomes.
6. Offer to Accompany Them
   Sometimes it’s not just about making an appointment, but about who goes with them. Offering to attend the first hearing test or clinic visit can provide reassurance and support. We encourage patients to bring a spouse, friend or family member with them to their first appointment.

What Comes After the Talk?

Once the conversation has started, it’s about partnership:

• Would it help them for you to research the best place to have a comprehensive audiological exam?
• Do you know someone with hearing loss that was diagnosed and is doing well? Would your family member benefit from speaking with them?
• Most of all, just be there for them…always ready to listen.

Be ready to sit and listen to them talk about their reasons for not seeking treatment.  Hearing it from a loved one might catch them off guard, but they will appreciate the fact that you care enough to help. 

Most of the time people who have hearing loss have some idea that they aren’t hearing as well as they used to.  Having a chance to talk about it with someone who cares about them will usually end up with them convincing themselves to get testing done.

Where to go for Testing

It is important that you help your loved one find a licensed audiologist, not a retail hearing aid chain that offer “free testing” or other incentives.  Audiologists are medical providers and will complete a comprehensive battery of tests, many of which are not able to be completed at retail establishments. These providers have doctorate degrees which requires eight years of training to be able to diagnose hearing loss AND treat it properly.  Additionally, they are trained to look for abnormalities that could signal more serious issues.  One example is an acoustic neuroma, a slow-growing tumor that can cause hearing loss and permanent damage if not diagnosed early enough.  Since opening in 2019, our providers have been able to catch several of these rare cases and send them to specialists for treatment.

Audiology practices have the ability to bill insurance companies for the testing and, if needed, hearing aids.  At Coates Hearing Clinic, we’ve made a commitment to work with every insurance company (that will allow us participate in their network)
 so that our patients NEVER have to pay more to get treatment at our office. Our hearing aid pricing has been the same since we opened in 2019, illustrating our commitment to doing whatever we can to help anyone who needs help with hearing loss. 

Wherever you choose to go for testing, ask the patient care coordinator to confirm that you or your loved one will be seen by an audiologist.

In Closing

Noticing hearing loss and addressing it with compassion can help your loved one feel supported, not judged. These conversations are tough because the stakes are high — connection, dignity, independence. But when approached with empathy and understanding, they can open the door to better communication, clearer relationships, and a more connected life together.

You’re not just helping your loved one hear better — you’re helping them stay engaged with the people and world they love and quite possibly preventing other serious medical issues from occurring.

Hearing loss doesn’t get better on its own.  Today is the day to start the conversation!